Your Blind Date with a ZombiePreparing for Your Blind Dinner-Date with a ZombieYour Blind Date with a Zombie by DaneBainbridge
The singles dating scene is fraught with perils. None more so than the blind date. But what to do when that blind date turns out to be a little bit more of a surprise than you were expecting? No need to fret. With this simple guide you will be well-prepared for the most complicated of evenings: The Blind Date with a Zombie.
1. Zombies have feelings, too. Don't be put off by the initial appearance of your zombie date. Your zombie friend has led a difficult life, followed by a far more difficult death and a trying readjustment period. First impressions are all so important. Refrain from making disparaging statements about bloody orifices, waxen eyes, lost appendages, or gaping swaths of missing flesh. Instead, keep in mind that we are all unique individuals with our own distinctive styles of dress and personal appearance. Be complimentary and remember that one person's lack of limbs may be another person's dashing new look. Try these hel
Real MenThere ain't no real men anymore. I remember when men looked like men. They had the hair on their chest and they weren't afraid of it. These days men wax like pansies and all the girlies go chasing after the hairless fairies. Ha! My girl, she likes me the way I am, she likes the way I never use any of that sissy deodorant and come home smelling manly.Real Men by bleusman
I think Dwight might be leaving me for a man. He keeps going off on these rants about real men, and I've caught him looking at my vintage Playgirls a few times. And he keeps mentioning this bodybuilder guy Barry, who apparently is the epitome of a "real man." I don't think I'm masculine enough. I think I read somewhere that scrawny men like Dwane like masculine women.
I kept thinking this old geezer was gonna make a pass at me, the way he was staring. Then he tells me his wife started lifting weights. But chicks ain't supposed to do that! And then she stopped shaving her legs. I tell ya, the days of real women are long gone. Now th